Coping Skills & Humor: "My Little Garden Monkey"



Coping skills are just as important as medications & doctors when it comes to dealing with anxiety, depression, panic attacks, bipolar disorders or any kind of challenge.

The one thing my life has not been is boring.  Through some of my darkest times, my mom taught me one of the most important coping skills of all and that is to remember to fill my mind with good thoughts & memories and always try to find something to laugh at even if it's myself!

So, this is one of my favorite, funny memories growing up that I wanted to share about my pet monkey, Jaimie.

"My Little Garden Monkey"

When I was in 2^nd grade, I vividly remember going outside in our backyard to help my dad in our vegetable garden. My family lived on a small farm out in the country, in the beautiful state of Washington.  I loved helping my parents in the vegetable garden and playing hide and go seek with them in the many rows of corn that towered over me. 

One particular day, it was just me and dad in the garden picking green beans when all of a sudden we heard a faint screaming noise and then several swooshing noises coming from our apple trees on the other side of the garden.  My dad and I looked up into the apple trees, shading our eyes from the sun, and dad said, “Honey, there’s a monkey swinging in our apple trees!  I’m going to try to catch it!  Go inside and get your mom while I get a ladder.”  I ran as fast as I could into our yellow farmhouse and got mom, barely being able to speak from all my huffing and puffing from my fast sprint into the house.  As mom was drying her hands on the kitchen towel, I dragged her outside, by the arm, to show her what dad and I had found! We couldn’t believe our eyes!  Dad had actually caught the little spider monkey and was bringing him down the ladder with him!  Hastily getting an old rabbit cage, my parents put the monkey in it and I immediately called my monkey, “Jamie”.  Yep, I claimed ownership to the monkey.  Mom told me not to get attached to the monkey because he most likely belonged to someone else. Barely hearing her words, I gave Jamie a banana, he peeled it and handed the peeling back to me and proceeded to eat the banana. Hmmm…I was already having great plans for this pet monkey of mine.   I was in awe of my garden monkey, Jamie, and couldn’t wait to dress him up, like any other 2^nd grade girl would do of course! 

After the initial shock of catching a monkey in our back yard, dad immediately called the fire department and told them about the situation.  Ironically enough, the fire department accused my father, who was a pastor of a little community church in town, of being intoxicated and hung up on him!  Having a good sense of humor, mom and dad laughed it off.  Brushing that abrupt phone call off, my parents decided to post an ad in the local newspaper regarding a lost little spider monkey.  No one responded within the first few days or weeks and eventually months.  I grew very attached to Jamie and loved him very much.  Almost one year went by until one day someone called about Jamie.  It was the dreaded phone call.  The owners of this precious monkey called to claim him and pick him up.  I cried and sobbed as they took my little garden monkey, Jamie, away.  I will never forget my little garden monkey, Jamie, and that special day in the garden along with many other memories.

I no longer cry tears for Jamie but now smile with giggles as I tell this story to my friends and our kids.  Distracting my thoughts from negative ones or just starting my day out with a positive thought or memory can set the tone for the rest of my day and help me cope with any kind of struggles or challenges that may come up.  So, here's to all the little garden monkeys out there who can brighten up our day!

Anxiety & Triggers

If you suffer from Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar Disorder or any other kind of mental illness, don't feel guilty.  It's genetic and that's it.  Pure and simple.  It's hereditary. 

There are things that can trigger the onset of anxiety, depression, and mental illness in general.  Things such as your environment, thought patterns and life style to name a few.  If you suffer from one of these hurdles in life, most likely someone else in your family has also struggled, too.  It's hereditary and that gene could have been passed down to you from a parent, grand-parent or even great-grandparent. 

Since everyone is unique and deals with life differently, your journey will be different and yours alone.  It's not a death sentence, but more about self-discovery and how we are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

On my own road to recovery, I've learned some valuable Coping Skills along the way.  In sharing them, I hope that they can benefit you as well.

Healthy boundaries is one of my Coping Skills.  After years of practice, I have finally been able to make healthy boundaries for myself without feeling guilty.  Boundaries from talking, seeing, texting, facebooking (is that a word?) or visiting certain people that need something from me or are just plain too toxic for me at the time.  Some of them mean no harm, others may unintentionally do harm without realizing it. It can be a friend, stranger, organization, job or family. If I'm not in a healthy place, I've realized I will be of no good to them either.  A single text can spiral me into a severe panic attack or anxiety attack.

I have also realized that tracking my daily activities on a chart every day helps me pinpoint my triggers.  Triggers that can cause anxiety and worry, depression or mania from my Bipolar Disorder or even trigger my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

My triggers can be anything from over stimulation from being around too many people for long periods of time or the opposite - not enough time around other people.  Most of all, it's the little things that can trigger me.  So, I keep track of who I've texted and received texts from, who I talk to on the phone or see in person, what I ate, how much i slept and if it was broken up sleep, what TV shows I watched or movies I watched, etc.  It sounds trivial, but it really does help.  When I'm suffering from severe anxiety, sounds and light bother me the most.  The hum of a light fixture, the light from the computer.  Little things can cause a lot of anxiety sometimes.

Another one of my triggers was responding, by texting, to a couple of individuals too much.  In my mind, I thought if I texted them back, it wasn't as toxic as seeing them or talking to them on the phone.  For me, it was just as toxic.  Now, I don't respond unless I am in a healthy place mentally, emotionally and it doesn't take away from my family or another important event at the time.  I felt soooooo guilty at first, but realized it was a must.  That alone took out A LOT of my anxiety.

Another anxiety for me is shopping with other women.  Since I'm still in recovery from being a "People Pleaser", I found it extremely difficult to be myself completely without worrying about if my friends (s) was enjoying their self at the mall. Ugh.  I know, it's crazy but it brought on real anxiety for me!

I could go on and on about how commercials or certain movies trigger me, but I think those are more obvious and I wanted to emphasize the importance of how little triggers can cause great damage.  I found out that when I was aware of the little triggers, the larger ones were not as often.

I'll share more on worry, anxiety and panic attacks later this week. 

I Hope that some of these coping skills help some of you with practical things that you can do for yourself to maybe alleviate some of the stress in your life. 

I'll be sharing more coping skills later this week.  Thanks for coming on this journey with me!